Diva Cup: Two Years On

The first time I wrote about the Diva Cup, I was a newbie. The second time, I was ready to review. This time, I come to you with a pro/con list that will knock your socks off and leave you begging for more. More Diva Cup, that is. On to the list!

Here’s the deal. Almost every single person I’ve ever told that I am a Diva Cup convert has let the classic “EW” fly from their mouths. Why is it so gross? Is it grosser than shoving cotton up you HooHa to absorb your monthly bill? Is it as gross as letting Aunt Flo hang out in your panties on a cotton pad all day? Listen, let’s cut the bullshit. Periods are stupid and nasty and annoying and dumb. But we have them. And we have to deal with them in the best way we know how, which does not include ignoring the fact that you’re bleeding from an orifice for days on end. Ugh, god it’s the worst. I mean, really.

Pros:

  • I have created ZERO waste during my period for almost two years. No tampons, no pads, nada.
  • I spend zero dollars on my period. I bought the Diva Cup almost two years ago and have never spent another dime.
  • I don’t have to be discreet with the Diva Cup. I don’t hide anything up my sleeve to run to the bathroom at work. It’s in my body and you don’t even know (unless I tell you).
  • The instructions say to leave it in for 12 hours, but I routinely leave mine in for 24 hours with no problem whatsoever. Do what makes you feel comfortable, of course.
  • You can pee with it in.
  • You can poo with it in.
  • You can boil that bastard. Seriously! Put your Diva Cup in boiling water for a few minutes to thoroughly clean it and all will be oh so right with your beloved HooHa.
  • You get to know yourself. REALLY WELL. I’m not sure if this is a pro or a con, but I’m listing it as a pro because “knowing” yourself allows you to tell other people how to “know” you. Ahem.
  • I never have to worry about feeling “that feeling”. I call it the meerkat. You know, when you’re minding your business and all of a sudden you realize that your tampon has reach its breaking point and all menstruation is heading for the exit like the flood rushing through the mines in the Temple of Doom. This is what you look like when that happens:

meerkat

See how the little ones are clutching each other in fear? That’s the fear we all have when the menstrual flood approaches.

Cons:

  • It can get messy. You should know this going in, but here’s the non-sugar coated truth: you’re cleaning out your menstruation in a sink, so you see and possibly touch everything.
  • Sometimes I have to force pee out a little bit because I think the Diva Cup is resting on my bladder somehow. Pee can come out slowly.
  • The Diva Cup can become so well rested inside you that it can be slightly tricky to get it out. Sometimes I have to try again and get a new angle. The body is a mystery, amiright?
  • It can “leak” if it’s not inserted the correct way. Once you get the hang of it, it’s all vegan gravy.

Basically, I love this thing. I feel like my life is better since I’ve been using it. If it’s not for you, I get it. But you’ll have to take my Diva Cup out of my cold dead hands before I change my ways.

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