I had a few slips before yesterday…mostly just forgetting that I shouldn’t be eating strawberries (it’s a possible allergen) or that I had a teensy bit of peanut butter (also a possible allergen). Other than that, I’ve been a good little girl. Tons of raw veggies, lemon and olive oil for dressing on my salads, brown rice and veggies for dinner. I’ve been having delicious bright green smoothies for breakfast and tons of water all day long. I’ve even been pooing a bit more than normal due to all of the glorious fiber I’ve been ingesting (trust me, this is a good thing). We’re friends, right? I can talk about poo with you.
I had all of the fixings for an amazing salad for lunch yesterday. Mixed greens, arugula, zucchini, broccoli, sunflower seeds, dressing. But I was hit by the infamous “UGH. Not another fucking salad today.” Does anyone else ever feel like this? Like eating another salad will just be the worst thing that has ever happened. I needed some salt, I needed some fat, some crunch. Something bad, maybe a little naughty. I mean, I deserved it, right? (no). I had been super good on the cleanse, right? (no). It’s been, like, WEEKS since I had some fatty foods, right? (no). And then the craving for french fries hit me like a ton of bricks. Their salty goodness…their fried fantasticness…their potatoey starch (potatoes are also a no-no on the cleanse…a possible allergen). I was helpless against their powers. The power of the french fry is like few other powers I’ve been in contact with. I can smell them for miles, I can spot their grease coming through a paper bag, I can taste them before they’re mine.
And so I gave in. I had french fries for lunch yesterday, while my sad salad sat on the table, hoping to be eaten. Alas, poor salad, twas not your day. The french fry had me by the gonads (if I had them) and was not letting go. They were delicious, amazing, earth-shattering. Everything I’ve ever wanted out of life, and more. I regretted nothing. Until I started to regret.
So the cool thing about this cleanse is that there is no wagon to fall off of. This is not a one-size-fits-all cleanse. If I eat strawberries, am I going to die? No. But cleansing yourself from possible allergens is what I’m trying to do, so I’m avoiding strawberries from here on out. This is a learn-as-you-go and do-what-feels-right kind of cleanse, which is actually right up my alley. So, I ate some fries yesterday. I felt slightly bad about it, but not terrible. I chose my choice. I made the decision. Did I mention that they were delicious? Yum.
I realize now that I get my snacking habits from my dad. Poppa Veg-Head is a big “I’m not sure if I’m actually hungry right now, but these salty nuts look delicious” kind of eater. Sadly, I battle against that all the time. Seeing bags of popcorn (which are currently in the pantry right now), makes me want to rip the bags open, pour popcorn into my mouth, then laugh hysterically and manically, popcorn in my hair and on the floor, the bags clenched in my salted hands. But, I am happy to report that I have not eaten any popcorn since beginning the cleanse. AND THE POPCORN IS JUST SITTING IN THE PANTRY. That’s the thing about having slightly disordered eating habits…the food only has power when you give it to them. But, if you reach for the carrot sticks instead of the popcorn, you win every time.
So maybe this cleanse has not gotten off to the best start possible. Maybe I’ve had some slips. Maybe I ate ALL THE FRIES for lunch yesterday. Today, I made my smoothie for breakfast, snacked on carrot sticks, and am about to eat my salad for lunch. Later I will have an apple with almond butter, go for a quick jog, then make some delicious dinner. Wagon or no, I’ve got my head on straight now. This shit will not stand! Time to break these bad habits.
In other news, my crazy ass has decided to run a race each month (if not more than one) in 2015. To me, this is such a healthy goal to have, and it will keep me on my toes (literally and figuratively) in 2015. I guess I should start saving my pennies for all of these races! And yes, I want to run races in Asheville, San Diego, and Portland. What better reason to fly to the west coast than to race (and eat all of the vegan foods possible)? I’m brilliant, I tell you.