Well, it happened. I didn’t think it would happen so soon, but you can’t plan these kinds of milestones, can you? You will just look back one day and think to yourself, as you sit on your porch drinking mint juleps and staring out into the wilderness, “I remember when I first chaperoned kids at a concert…” For me, it was the Paramore and Fall Out Boy concert on Wednesday July 30, 2014. My aunt and 16-year-old cousin, as well as my cousin’s three 16-year-old friends, all drove in from glorious Mobile, Alabama to hang with us city folk for a spell. From Gwinnett we traveled to my second favorite Atlanta venue, Lakewood. Side note: this will ALWAYS be known as Lakewood, no matter how many different companies own it and name it after their stores. Get it straight.
I should also pause to note that my gas light came on right as we entered the traffic outside Lakewood, because I’m just that crazy of an asshole. I mean, YOLO, right? Oh wait…I meant #YOLO. I love my cuz and her adorbs friends, and it constantly cracks me up that they SPEAK in hashtags. Here is an example: “I was so tired from the trip that I was hashtag done.” They are fluent in sarcasm and teen-speak, saying things like “Hashtag Forever Alone” when they see a couple walking hand in hand. This, of course, cracked me up, because that shit is funny, no matter your age. I was very relieved and glad to know that I still *sort of* fit in with the girls, even though I am twice their age. They all thought I was 26 years old, which made me WAY TOO HAPPY.
Let’s get to the concert. First, what is up with fashion these days? Does everyone know that we have seen this fashion before and that it was done way better the first time? I firmly blame Miley Cyrus for bringing the 90s back with a bang, platform sandals and all. Peeps were walking around this concert with short shorts, halter tops with sunflowers on them, and Keds. I have no clue what the hell is happening, and frankly it angers me to some extent. GET OFF MY LAWN, and all that jazz.
Paramore opened and they were awesome. Very very live energy and very humble and gracious for all of the love. I had no clue that the lead singer had cut her hair and dyed it blue (I was later told by my 16-year-old posse that it had been that way for a while-get with it). I sat down for the entire Paramore show, but I made sure that I was not the only #old that also sat down (I wasn’t!).
One of us does not belong.
When Fall Out Boy came out, the entire place stood up (including myself, because my butt had started to hurt). They played some new songs and their old school radio hits. I was hit with a wave of nostalgia when they played “Sugar We’re Going Down” and I was taken back to 2006. Let’s back up, shall we? In June of 2005, I moved back to Georgia from Mexico, I broke up with my boyfriend, I moved in with my parents, I began working at a restaurant, and began making, shall we say, questionable decisions (my mom reads this blog; Hi Mom!). I was a total and complete hot mess, y’all. Like, stupidity was coursing through my veins all day and night. I had some wild oats to sew, and dammit, I sewed those bastards. I kicked those wild oats in the pantelones and told them to get lost. It turns out that Fall Out Boy was part of the soundtrack of my life back then. As I stood on the lawn at Lakewood, chaperoning four 16-year-olds, I realized how far I’d come. Even though I am #totes #old, I would NOT go back there if you paid me. What comes with age is the knowledge of yourself, of what you want, what you don’t want, and I am pleased as punch that I am very far from who I was in 2005. Because those questionable decisions need to stay in the past, so that I may make fun of myself whenever I like. That also comes with age, the ability to laugh at where you’ve been. I mean, I had some CRAZY hair choices back in the day.
What, praytell, is the Conscious Cleanse? Peep it here: http://consciouscleanse.com. This is a super cool 14-day cleanse that can help you get back to zero and also determine if you have food allergies. Basically, you are eating whole foods, not prepackaged or processed foods. Hallelujah! This is exactly what I need. Since becoming a veg-head about 4-5 months ago, I have been loving life as a vegan. I am constantly trying new recipes, discovering new foods, and eating like a queen. But there is a lesser known side to the vegan world: enter the vegan processed food. Oreos, popcorn, chips, Mexican food (you mean it’s not ok to eat Mexican food once a week?) and the like have wreaked havoc on my waistline. And because I recently lost weight with the wack-a-doo diet, I refuse to gain it back. I’m noticing that my face looks fuller and puffier, that my acne is out of control bad, and that my pants are snug with my belly poking out. OH HELL NAW. Not up in here! Time to get back to zero and get a fresh start.
My goal in this is to feel better. If I lose some of my muffin top, all the better. Also, I am secretly worried that I have an allergy to soy and its causing my acne, for which I will slowly die a painful death knowing that soy is gone forever. Kidding! If I can live happily without dairy, eggs, meat or seafood, than I can live happily without soy (or whatever is causing this craziness). After the 14 days, I will reintroduce certain foods and see how my body reacts to it. I can do anything for 14 days, right? But first I had to go shopping.
If you’ve never been here, you must go to Return to Eden on Lavista and Cheshire Bridge in Atlanta. Yesterday was the first time I’ve been there, but I will absolutely be back. This is my kind of place. Important note: there is a Scoutmob out right now that lets you get $50 worth of groceries for $30. I bought two of them. You must use them in two separate visits, unless you’re me, in which case you beg the manager. ALL of their produce is organic. Score! No nasty chemicals in your facehole. I did find that some of their produce was lacking, but I think they were waiting on a shipment. Also, they have dried bulk goods like Whole Foods but cheaper. Then I found some new items that will (hopefully not) be in my rotation soon:
That’s right, friends. That would be vegan gluten free chocolate chip cookie dough. WHAT THE SHIT. It doesn’t make any logical sense. Yes, I bought it. Yes, I baked cookies last night and ate the raw cookie dough and hundreds of the cookies. No, I don’t regret it. I mean, I was taste testing it for the blog, homies! This is a judge-free zone. I also snagged this:
This would be a new kind of dry burger mix. Just add water and eggs (or flax seed eggs?) and you have a burger. It’s made from pecans, garbanzo beans, gluten free whole grain oats, gluten free whole grain oatmeal, sea salt and spices. Yum! We’ll save that for another time. I also snagged this guy that I’ve been dying to try:
I had seen this brand in an article and have been curious. To be honest, I didn’t really like them. The consistency was TOO much like shrimp, and it kind of freaked me the hell out. I had to donate them to the stray cats outside.
After I got home from shopping, I began my food prep. I peeled and chopped 5 pounds of organic carrots, I chopped broccoli, I got my salad ready, I cooked a pot of brown rice for the week, I got my grains all set in their Tupperware. I’m excited to eat wholesome, delicious, good-for-my-body foods and to get back to feeling great. Remember: you are what you eat. And I really don’t want to be chips and salsa and popcorn. I really want to be carrots and smoothies and lemons.
Today is the first day of the Conscious Cleanse. I started it with warm lemon water followed by a smoothie of broccoli, sunflower sprouts, parsley, berries, banana, and unsweetened rice milk. I’ll be damned if it wasn’t bright green but tasted sweet as hell. Handful of walnuts was my snack. Lunch will be a giant salad with tons of veggies and olive oil and lemon for the dressing. Afternoon snack will be an apple with raw almond butter. Dinner will be brown rice with some veggies and a little sesame oil. Super simple, super awesome foods.
Oh, and in the midst of all of this, I have begun my half marathon training, ya know, cause I keeps it crazy around here. I cannot believe I haven’t jogged since the Peachtree on the 4th of July, but sometimes life gets in the way (or my excess eating has made me feel sluggish, you decide). This is what my cat had to say about me returning with my face BRIGHT RED and wondering how in the name of all that is holy was all of this going to work:
She’s a sweet one, and obviously concerned. Oh! And if you’re looking for a new favorite cookbook, please get this hot little number in your hands as soon as possible:
Cara from Fork and Beans (http://www.forkandbeans.com/), who is clearly an evil genius, has finally written a cookbook that will blow the socks off of people that think you can’t bake delicious vegan and gluten free goodies. Silly people! Cara will show you all. I have preordered this bad boy and it shall be mine soon. No doubt I will be baking from it soon, after the Cleanse, of course 🙂