On needing a new blender. And possibly a life.

I have wanted a Vitamix for a while now, especially since I have been a cooking and baking machine. Is there anything a Vitamix can’t do? I’m pretty sure that it also changes the oil in your car and lets you know minutes before your smoke detector starts chirping to tell you to change the batteries. That Vitamix is an all around swell guy, telling those amazing stories at parties where EVERYONE laughs and then it casually pauses to thank the host for this amazing spread. On to the next party, Vitamix.

I was shamed in my own home by my lack of blender prowess yesterday. Imagine my horror when I had to pull out the hand-mixing Tupperware food processor to finish my blender’s job. Given, my blender has served me well for some years after being purchased from Walmart for the quality price of $20. A steal! And quite frankly, I’m overly shocked that it’s lasted as long as it has. In frustration over my Oreo mixture’s lack of cooperation, I screamed out to my mom, “For every birthday and Christmas from now on, please just get me gift certificates to Amazon or someplace I can buy kitchen equipment! This is EMBARRASSING.” And that was the exact moment I realized that my childhood was gone, as my lust for the beautiful and powerful Vitamix has taken over my brain. I imagine now that people walk around with crooked smiles and a bounce in their step, because they realize what they have waiting for them at home: the most powerful blender known to man. Ice cubes crumble in fear, soups are made in a flash, and they NEVER have to soak a damn cashew. Do you know how many times I’ve gotten home, after daydreaming all day of pouring a cheese sauce on my grub, only to realize that I forgot to soak my nuts? Total rookie mistake. Vitamix, why have you forsaken me?

Me too.

Me too.

I was a lucky girl this weekend, lack of Vitamix aside. I got to see “Wish I Was Here” with Miss J$ on Friday after eating my favorite Thai in the world at Little Bangkok. (Little Bangkok:Thai Food::Vitamix:Blenders) After some sad news, I have decided that I cannot go to Spain with Miss J$ this October. Spain will always be there, and hopefully a trip will be had in the future. Β I have paella to eat, people!

Art!

Art!

Me, not at all upset that my painting pales in comparison to the freakshow artist behind me.

Me, not at all upset that my painting pales in comparison to the freakshow artist behind me.

My finished product!

My finished product!

On Saturday, I had a blast with my crew of girls as we ate our faces off at Mellow Mushroom and then proceeded to get our art on at Dip n Dab. This is a place where you can bring food and alcohol, and your limited artistic talents, and paint a picture with the class. Ours was a pretty flower picture. Sounds easy enough, right? Wellllllllll I learned that you must have a modicum of some talent to make it happen, and my artistic future has been put on hold as I continue to wonder who thought that class was a good idea.

That dressing...oh boy.

That dressing…oh boy.

Get in my belly!

Get in my belly!

Gyro with kalebone.

Gyro with kalebone.

After the class, I found myself at Soul Vegetarian. I have not been to this restaurant since I was in college, and I have been dreaming of it fortnightly since going veg-head. Let me tell you all, that you may want to stop what you’re doing and go get some of their mac n cheese. It was unbelievable how delicious it was. I tried with all of my might to attempt a chef’s tongue and pull out the ingredients so that I could replicate this at home. Clearly, I’m not quite there yet. One of my goals this year (probably during September’s Vegan MoFo) is to learn how to make a delicious vegan mac n cheese. That comfort food is severely missed in my life. At Soul Veg, I also had a delicious salad with a tahini-based dressing that I all but drank. I then had their gyro with their signature kalebone meat. To be honest, the kalebone was not my favorite fake meat in the world. But I will eat their mac n cheese all week long and twice on Sundays. Go there:Β http://www.soulvegetarian2.com/

I hit up the Whole Foods next (shocking) to gather my ingredients for Minimalist Baker’s newest treasure: No Bake Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecakes (find them here: http://minimalistbaker.com/no-bake-peanut-butter-cup-cheesecakes/). WHAT. Vegans don’t skimp on the flavor, homies. We amp that flavor up to a whole new level and slap it in the face and yell “Who’s yo momma??” Try as it might, flavor cannot run and hide from a vegan.

I began making my cheesecakes on Sunday morning and was super excited to bring them to a friend’s house for a BBQ. All friends there are carnivores, which is totally cool, because I don’t discrimi-hate. I embrace them and their crazy ways. And I show them that vegans rock the casbah. This was when my blender love took a turn for the worse and it crapped out on blending oreos. Oreos! They crumble in your hands, peeps. I had to whip out my trusty Tupperware hand-mixing food processor and could instantly feel my blender’s embarrassment rise to its cheeks. Sad, really. A blender bested by something with no motor. Shit. Horrible times.

Oreo crust.

Oreo crust.

Tupperware to the rescue!

Tupperware to the rescue!

Voila!

Voila!

Mini cheesecake heaven.

Mini cheesecake heaven.

 

Other than that, this recipe was a breeze. I brought them proudly to the BBQ and warned everybody that this was my first go with this recipe, so be gentle. After scarfing down homemade guacamole, kale chips, watermelon, grilled tofu for yours truly, baked beans, grilled chicken, and corn casserole, we all were ready for something sweet. Of course, the tequila/fruit slushies helped our sweet teeth along. Friends, this is what was thrown into the Vitamix: ice, tequila, a whole orange (peeled), a whole lime (peeled), and honey. Normally I steer clear of honey, but when at a friend’s house and they hand me a tequila slushie, I drink it. I’m not totally insane.

Guac and kale chips.

Guac and kale chips.

Drinks!

Drinks!

BBQ...vegan style.

BBQ…vegan style.

 

Let me be the one to break the news to you all: your lives will forever be enriched by throwing this Minimalist Baker recipe into your arsenal. Ridiculous flavors, peanutty goodness, oreo coconutty crust…to die for. I was so proud of myself for being able to create this amazing dish (even if I wasn’t creative enough to think it up). And even better: it shows that vegans can still party. Hell, we bring the party. In the form of cheesecake.

Woo hoo!

Woo hoo!

Oh, and I won my first online contest! Adrienne of cracktheplates.com rocks something fierce, and I am now the proud owner of Joshua Ploeg’s cookbook “In Search of the Lost Taste.” Check out her adorable drawings on my envelope. So awesome! I’m so excited to try his recipes.

Cherry delicious!

Cherry delicious!

Until next time, you can find me at modcloth.com, where I may lose my mind after buying this cherry dress. Of course, I’ll have to save my pennies for that damn Vitamix. You will be mine, Vitamix. Oh yes. You will be mine.

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8 thoughts on “On needing a new blender. And possibly a life.

    • Lee, I’ve been DYING to try that recipe! For some reason, butternut squash scares me, and that’s why I’ve never tried it. Time to conquer my fears!

  1. Marvellous adventures! A great way to obtain a vitamix is to tell your best friend to ask all of your friends to pitch in towards a vitamix for your birthday! That’s how I got mine πŸ™‚

    So glad you like your new cookbook! I had too much fun decorating the envelope.

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