In my quest to become healthy, wealthy, and wise (I’m officially still working on all three), I realized that a movement towards a natural deodorant had begun. And I wanted to be a part of that movement instantly. I wanted to let my hippie freak vegan tree hugging flag fly and proudly proclaim, “I don’t need your crazy chemicals any longer! And smell my armpits! I shaved them a week ago!” Of course, I want to keep my friends and family, so I can’t be all stinkin’. Because a stinky friend is not a friend indeed, but rather a friend in need. Or some shit. Long story short, I found myself with a very important dilemma: how to go natural and not stink. Let’s start at the beginning.
About 3 or 4 months ago, when I took the veg-head plunge, I tried to go back to my college hippie roots with the Crystal. Are you guys familiar with the Crystal? I had gotten this method down pat back in college: you wet the crystal under water then apply to your underarms. Back then, I would apply some essential oils afterwards to ward off any additional stink. It worked like a charm back in the day! So why wasn’t it working now? I tried it for a about 3 weeks, and at times it seemed to work. I developed a wicked rash that itched like crazy, but according to the interwebs, the rash could just be your body detoxing from the crap of past deodorants. Then I dropped the crystal and it cracked, which lead me to discover the mighty crystal’s one weakness: a crack. That shiz broke not long after, and I was stuck with the question: do I buy the Crystal again or do I try something else? I next went to:
I got this from Whole Foods. I thought, this will work like a charm! I currently use Nature’s Gate toothpaste and it’s awesome. Let me tell you people that, in no uncertain terms, this deodorant NEVER worked for me. I stank like a sailor at sea almost immediately after applying it. I felt so lied to! But I have to remember that what works for one may not work for all, so my search continued. Next I went to the trusty:
Of course. Tom’s. The old standby. Me love Tom’s long time. I’ve been using Tom’s toothpaste since forever. So it gave me pause when this Tom’s only worked sometimes. I distinctly remember going to visit a friend on a Saturday after not showering that morning (read: hippie) and was truly STANKIN’ even after liberally reapplying the Tom’s. It let me down! I felt so betrayed. So I did some interweb research, and I found:
Schmidt’s. Ordered online. It came with its own mini spatula! It smelled delightful. And this is truly natural deodorant: you apply this with your very own fingers. How hippie! How natural! You know I was going to just love this. After a while, though, the Schmidt’s began to give me problems. The scent began to smell, well…nasty. Maybe it mixed oddly with my own scents? Also, I started to develop this weird redness that later turned brown. What was happening to my body? I wondered if my funk would ever be conquered. Was my stink just too powerful to die? Have I broken the deodorant’s code and perhaps my body was the key science has been looking for? Probably not. But I decided I would not stop until I found something that worked, dammit.
I went to Wellness Mama, as I often do with questions about natural products and how to make them. Maybe if I can’t find a deodorant that works, I could make my own! Nothing more natural or hippie than that, homies. I found her recipe and actually have all of the ingredients. But I couldn’t help but notice that she claims that one can simply use baking soda as deodorant. That’s it. Just baking soda? No sooner had I read that than a coworker told me her grandmother ONLY uses baking soda as a deodorant. I instantly went to the interwebs to see if this was legit, and believe it or not, baking soda is in fact too legit to quit (see what I did there?). I tried it this morning, and I think that because I didn’t know what I was doing, I may have done something wrong. I’m wearing a shirt that I notoriously sweat in and have yet to sweat, but there is just the slightest of funks present.
I think that I will make Wellness Mama’s natural deodorant recipe after I give the baking soda a proper go (you can find the recipe here: http://wellnessmama.com/1523/natural-deodorant/). I do really like the idea of using just baking soda as a deodorant, but then I wonder: is it ok to travel with a baby Tupperware filled with white powder? Am I getting kicked out of Spain for this?
Speaking of Spain, I have begun my “I can no longer do anything that costs any money because I am being ninja thrifty in order to save money so that I can drink all the wine in Spain” phase. I will be going with a friend from October 8-18 and, seriously, I cannot believe it’s coming up. The ticket will be bought soon and then it will be FO REAL happening. I even made a spreadsheet of my finances to make sure I’m saving money like the crazy person that I am. After Spain happens, then I will begin my “I can no longer do anything that costs any money because I am being ninja thrifty in order to pay off debt and not live with my parents forever” phase. It’s super fun being me. I’ll report back on the stinkiness!