Let’s get real, friends. Let’s cut the BS and talk, virtually, about a topic near and dear to my heart. At least, it’s near and dear to my heart once a month. You know what I’m talking about: Aunt Flo, the monthly visitor, that damn bastard of a period. So annoying that there’s really nothing positive I can say about it at all. I’m hormonal, I cry, I eat, I hate, I’m in pain, I swell, I’m sore. Then, when it’s finally over and I forget about it for three weeks, that bastard comes back again like nothing ever happened. Like I don’t have a reason to hate it. But I do.
For me, I’ve always hated tampons. Generally all is well with them. But sometimes I can just feel them, ya know? At 32 years old, I still seemingly cannot gauge my own flow and I will use pads as a backup at times. And if I can just be frank for a moment (I mean, look how far we’ve come already), I AM OVER IT.
Tampons and pads can be expensive, and I don’t think we even need to mention how much waste it produces. Plus, I hate having to shove a tampon in the sleeve of my sweater when I go to the bathroom at work. Anyone else do that? I’m always so scared that people will hear the “crinkle” of the tampon wrapper and then they’ll know. Then, if you’re staying somewhere for the night or traveling, you have to throw a ton of those tampons in your bag just to be on the safe side. God help you if someone goes in your bag and sees tons of tampons hanging out. They are just annoying.
So in my quest to move more towards a more natural state of living (minimizing is next!) I have started to research the Diva Cup. What, pray tell, is the Diva Cup? Let your eyes feast on this beast: http://divacup.com. The Diva Cup is a menstrual cup that you wear internally to collect your menstrual flow. WHAT. I know, seriously…I get it. It sounds crazy. From the reviews I have read, the hardest part is trying to figure out how that sucker is supposed to fit inside you. We can thank the internet for YouTube, because there are a plethora of videos (non graphic) that show you how to give it a whirl. Most of the reviews claim that after you get the hang of insertion, you just cannot feel it. Seriously? How do you not feel it at all? I am very intrigued.
It’s a somewhat pricey investment, ranging from $29.99 – $39.99. It will pay for itself in a few months, and it supposedly lasts for a very long time. Also, you can leave it in for 12 hours. That beats the risk of that crazy toxic shock syndrome. After you remove it, you do have to dump your menstrual flow, wash it, then insert it again. I understand that this part may prove tricky if you’re in a public restroom or a port-a-potty. Some reviews say that you can simply wipe it clean with toilet paper and keep it moving. You can even urinate and have bowel movements with it inserted.
I am interested enough to try this out. In fact, I am hoping to order it soon so that I can use it the next time Aunt Flo knocks her big work boots around. Too bad I don’t live close to a Whole Foods (for various reasons), or else I would grab this sucker tonight. I will be reporting back on this process. Wish me luck in the madness that is the Diva Cup world!